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December 16, 2023. part 7. Then I cooked myself 1 more toaster strudel and ate that too. I drink'd some cold ass water that was in the fridge and it felt refreshing !! My lungs actually felt cool and I liked that. I ended up going to sleep not long after. I slept for some time and big bro came to wake me up. He told me to start packing up and I was wondering if he knew I went out. Not because he told me to pack up neither, we was actually leaving that day to drop me back home and for our Sunday family meet. My body felt a bit crazy when I got up too. I packed up and loaded his trunk with the things I brought over to his house. I was annoyed about not selling the scam tv box with wood inside, around his neighborhood. I put the listing for the tv on Facebook, back too my hometown area. We get in the car and I actually got in first. When big bro got in, he asked me for his house key and garage key and he made some back ups. Damn. I wanted too keep them. I gave them back to him. We head out and big bro talks about getting a job and man, I don’t give a shit !! I’m not working for anyone until I graduate from that damn welding school !! They’re like at least $35 an hour !! I just asked him about getting on some e b t so that I could get free food. Thing is, you cannot buy hot food with it. That’s what I heard. Crazy. Big bro and I talk about me getting an e b t a bit and he says I may be able to apply. We was also talking about me getting some credit cards and stuff. At one point, he asks if I talked to our sister and I said no. Basically I sent lil bro a very disrespectful message some days prior that you really shouldn’t text too your own family. He went to our sister all mad and shit and then called big bro too. Next thing you know, part of our Sunday meeting is us talking about the message I sent with our pops. Great. You already know I ain’t even really wanna go home. I was just waiting to deal with a situation. I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen. Big bro and I arrived to the house around 3 pm. I went upstairs at one point and pops and I greeted each other. He seemed to be in a chill mood, so I didn’t think he even knew about the text. Since I thought that, I was hoping that lil bro and our sister would just let the shit go !! I don’t even like Sunday family classes like that. I mean, we family and stuff but I be wanting to do me. Maybe that’s selfish ? I don’t know. I was also thinking how we usually start at 2 pm and before you know it, it was like 3:30. I ended up cleaning up the back patio a bit after pops asked me too and pops mentions class. I thought, “damn”. We had our Sunday class and some time later, pops talks about being grateful for what you have and then switches the convo to me, basically saying he seen me cussing and kicking things around outside while woodworking before. Yes, I have done that before out of extreme frustration. He talks about me appreciating what I’ve built by hand and gestures toward the tall shelf I made him. He then brings up the text I sent to lil bro and says how we’re not supposed to tear each other down and that family doesn’t fight family. That is true. Next time, I just won’t text him and I’ll be trying to avoid conflict. Even tho people love too push me ! Pops heads upstairs at one point and lil bro mentions a dresser he wants made and that I could take half off for it as an apology. See what I mean ?! You give him a block and he takes it a mile !! Even big bro and our sister didn’t agree with him on that one. I explained too him that woodworking is my business and I can’t do that. So him even suggesting that, tells me that he still felt a certain type of way and I kinda understand that. View my last journal to see what I texted him. I already apologized !! Like what more do you want me to do ?!! Carve the words “I’m sorry” or “my fault” into both my fucking arms with a knife !!? Come on. Big bro also told him to let it go. Nah, I figured he’d be mad for some time. I later on measured lil bro’s dresser and he wanted a certain size. Cool. I kept an eye on him just in case he was gonna try something.