Read Aloud the Text Content

This audio was created by Woord's Text to Speech service by content creators from all around the world.

Text Content or SSML code:

MALES ORDER BRIDE, SCENE THIRTEEN ------ HARRY: Please be seated men. Forrest you sit here, Lucky here, C.D. here, and Grubby here. LUCKY: That's some shine er you've got there Harry. HARRY: I ran into something. (ASIDE) Namely Starr's fist. She can get so testy! (to the others) Let me give you these. GRUBBY: This here's a rite purty little book, Shore wish I could read it. C.D.: It's a menu, Just point at something and hope for the best. LUCKY: This is nice of you Harry, but where are the real waiters? FORREST: Come to think of it, where are the other customers? We can't be the only ones eating here tonight. HARRY: Ah, but you are. As my wedding gift to you and your fiancees, I've booked the dining room for your use exclusively. I gave the waiters the night off so that I can serve you myself. I want everything to be perfect. I'll pick up the tab for the entire evening. GRUBBY: Thank you, Harry. C.D.: What a wonderful surprise. LUCKY: I appreciate it Harry. FORREST: Me, too. Where did you get such an idea? HARRY: Let's just say inspiration struck. (ASIDE) Among other things! Starr has a left hook that would stop a charging bull! Why don't you look over the menus, and I'll seat the ladies as they arrive. C.D.: What in the world are you doing, Grubby? GRUBBY: What Big Harry said. I'm looking over the menu. Don't know what I'm supposed to see though. C.D.: Keep at it, Grubby. Maybe you'll see the light eventually. (ASIDE) Then again, maybe he won't. LUCKY: Wasn't it thoughtful of Big Harry to treat us tonight? FORREST: Sure was. LUCKY: And he drew up my life insurance policy for practically nothing. The other fellas and I signed them today, did you? ------ GRUBBY: What's that?. HARRY: Water. GRUBBY: Dang it! I done washed the parts that needed it. HARRY: Drink it. GRUBBY: I ain't thirsty, but I could use a spittoon. HARRY: Later! (Harry sets a glass of water on Lucky's table) LUCKY: Harry, where's? HARRY: Later! ------ MODESTY: That's not very flattering! You've hurt my feelings. If you'll excuse me, I feel I am going to weep. FORREST: I'm sorry, but, oh, darn it! LUCKY: I noticed Harry had a little accident with the water. C.D.: Yes. Indigo went to dry her dress. I'll introduce her to you if she ever stays put long enough. GRUBBY: What's that? HARRY: Soup! GRUBBY: I didn't order any. HARRY: It's on the house! Soup's on! I'll take your order shortly. C.D.: Oh, all right. HARRY: What item are you tearing out of your menu. C.D.: Crump, Crump, Crumpets. (Harry sets Lucky's soup on the table) LUCKY: Chicken noodle? HARRY: The same to you! ------ FORREST: Never! I'll love Cal till the day I die! HARRY: (ASIDE) Saturday! HARRY: Ah! Miss Palooza. LUCKY: Oh Lola. LOLA: Sorry I took so long big boy. I wanted to look good for you, Well? LUCKY: You're a knockout! HARRY: (ASIDE) I wish he wouldn't use that term! Won't you be seated? LOLA: You're a real gent, Harry. HARRY: Excuse me. LOLA: What do we have here, a little poultry? Delicious! Have some soup Lucky. LUCKY: Sure Lola, I, Uh, Lola, your hand is on my leg. LOLA: Oh, is that your leg? I was wondering whose it was. LOLA: Let's decide on our entree. I already know what I want for dessert! HARRY: I'm ready to take your orders. I'll start with you, Forrest. LOLA: Pardon me Lucky. I feel a sneeze coming on. (Lucky lowers his menu, surprised at her sudden departure. He eats his soup) FORREST: I don't really feel like eating Harry. I've lost my appetite. Besides, I don't know what Modesty wants. MODESTY: Order me the trout. I shall regain my composure shortly. FORREST: Modesty's upset HARRY: I noticed, The trout for Miss Virtue. Would you care for the same? You have to eat something Forrest. FORREST: Trout? I couldn't eat a poor old trout. I know what it feels like to be hooked and pulled in. (Starr sneezes behind the screen, then hurries out. Lucky starts to rise as she plops down in her chair) LUCKY: I hope you're not taking a cold. LOLA: Naw, I figure I've still got dust up my nose from my tour of the saloon. What looks good? FORREST: Just bring me anything, Harry. I don't really care. HARRY: That's one trout and one who-gives-a-hoot! Eat your soup, Forrest Maybe it'll stimulate your appetite. (He moves to Lucky's table) HARRY: And for you? LOLA: Order a chicken, mashed potatoes, spinach, beets, cauliflower and carrots. Then get whatever you want. LOLA: Excuse me. I feel a need to visit the ladies' room, (She rushes out as Lucky is bewildered) HARRY: I heard. HARRY: (ASIDE) If she eats all that, the only disguise she's able to fit into is a tent! LUCKY: I guess I'll have the lamb chops. HARRY: Lamb chops. (ASIDE) That's appropriate since he's a lamb being led to the slaughter! ------ C.D.: Surely Mrs Bloodline's dress is dry by now. What could be keeping her? HARRY: Her dress? Um, I'm not sure. I'll check on her when I take these to the kitchen. LUCKY: Lola sure is taking a long time. HARRY: Lola? Who is she? I mean, where is she? LUCKY: She went to the ladies' room ------ GRUBBY: Fellas, can I see you for a minute, in private? C.D.: We were about to eat. GRUBBY: It won't take long. Lucky? LUCKY: Might as well. I think Lola got lost looking for the ladies' room. HARRY: Pssst!!! STARR: What? HARRY: Forrest just left to search for Cal. I'd better follow him. STARR: And leave me here alone to deal with those yah-whos? Are you crazy?! HARRY: Tell them you've got a headache. STARR: That's no lie! HARRY: Then have each woman return to her room. You can handle it. (He rushes) STARR: But Harry. C.D.: But Harry is a respected citizen of Denver. Why would he resort to kidnapping? LUCKY: And why now? With our weddings coming up? C.D.: Our weddings! You know, our getting mail order brides was all Harry's idea. LUCKY: It sure was! AND our taking out insurance policies. C.D.: Maybe he's got a bigger scheme in mind. GRUBBY: And Cal got in the way! Forrest made up his mind not to marry that other gal. LUCKY: Whatever he's up to, our fiancees must be a part of it. C.D.: You're right. Have you noticed we've never seen the four of them together, at the same time? (They all turn and look at the screens. They move slowly and get behind the screens) STARR: Drat! He got away. Where did everybody go? LUCKY: We`re right here. GRUBBY: Whatever your name is. C.D.: You've got some explaining to do. STARR: Harry!!! (She turns and bolts) LUCKY: Get her men!