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i had a good day yesterday and you ruined it. it's my fault but it won't happen again. you made me a "promise" and you broke it. Now I'm too much after pouring my heart out to you. Now you can't do it. Now we should stay friends. I begged you to not do this again but you did anyways. You never consider me when you say these things to me. i truly truly believed you and that you cared but you prove me wrong every single time. I made the mistake to depend on you as much as I do. You are my comfortable space and i'm to weak to lose that. Yk that i finally took that major step. Letting go of a friend I had for ten years because i thought it would make us better. Now i don't have anyone minus the people I started off with. Craven and jeanea. It hurts to believe someone over and over again, just to find out they don't mean it. I don't know how a person could do this. The things you said to me to just turn around and say you just um want to much. I wanted a kid by 30, i never said 21 25 or even 26 I said by thirty. Theres things i wanted in life before the age of forty, but ultimately that was your decision and you made it. All I wanted was you in my future but thats all gone now. I gave you my heart and my mind, and you "claimed" it was the same. After a certain point I was stuck on you, no one else crossed my mind. I don't know, if i could take this feeling of this never ending cycle of not being good enough for you. It's killing me. I'm too much because I want a kid and i'm too aggressive and I'm too demanding The crazy part is that those demands should've been automatic I shouldn't even had to ask you those things. Its not difficult to think before you speak or not treat me bad, but i know its too much for you and you wont hear it anymore. maybe im over exaggerating last night. maybe you misspoke i do not know. all i know is what i heard. "It was always in my plan to leave and not come back. You doing too much. We might as well stay friends now." If it was always your plan why place these thought in my mind? Why lie to me after my begging you not to? Thats all I got.