Read Aloud the Text Content

This audio was created by Woord's Text to Speech service by content creators from all around the world.

Text Content or SSML code:

Good afternoon, ladies, and Gentlemen, for those of you that don’t know me, my name is Nick and I’ve had the immense pleasure of being Joes best man. I must say I come quite unprepared with this speech. But then again, I think we were all slightly unprepared for this with Joe and Kat tying the knot quicker than Dan can finish his meal. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate the new Mr and Mrs Jones and just say thank you for allowing me to be a part of your special day. I think you’ll all agree just how incredible the happy couple look today… although, Joe… you’re definitely punching there pal. Me and Joe first met 20 years ago, strangely... near enough to the day… my first day at Holyhead High School after moving here from the Wirral. It’s all thanks to the one and only James Brady, who had the unfortunate task of being my chaperone on my first day, and understandably was eager to palm off this 13-year-old grotty little scouse kid onto any willing candidate… and thankfully for me, that candidate turned out to be the kindest, most genuine, and incredible friend anyone could ever wish to have, my best mate, Joe. Since that first day, we’ve been the best of friends, so much so that I consider you a brother… but don’t just take my word for it… as we’ve got older, you’ve got skinnier, I’ve got fatter, and our eyes have got worse… we seemingly can’t go out anymore without someone coming up to us and saying ‘hey, are you two the Proclaimers brothers?!’ I’ll let you google them… but I can’t see it myself… You took me in and introduced me to our amazing group of mates… we’ve done it all, seen it all and been through it all, the good and the bad… together. However, some of the memories of having to carry you home countless times, having you urinate in friends’ wardrobes thinking it was the toilet… and you running away, hiding my clothes after deciding to go skinny dipping in the sea at a beach party are not so great… This being said… you are the only man I know to have the ability of driving a moped while asleep... this is absolutely not to be condoned… but was absolutely incredible to see. You introduced me to our favourite past time, Sea Fishing… some of my favourite memories are sat on a rock, rod and reel in hand, putting the world to rights with you and the other lads… you’ve always shown such devotion to fishing, so much so that you once skipped your GCSE ICT exam to go fishing on the breakwater and as a result, received an grade X … now that’s dedication. You’ve always been there for us all, always giving us your honest opinion and offering advice... which I admit… I for one don’t always listen to, like… don’t get a tattoo, you’ll regret it… don’t join the RAF… you’ll probably regret it… and annoyingly, you always seem to be right. You’ve always had a clear direction and stood up for what’s right, just as a certain Casey Jenkins once found out when he tried to push in at the water fountain queue after your favourite subject in school, PE... but little did Casey know, he was met with a cracking right hook from Joe... never get in the way of Joe and his food or drink… unfortunately for the both of them, it resulted in neither of them getting any water that day. You show such incredible patience, even with my… at times… miserable grumpy arse… you always have time for everyone and put your all into everything you do. You are the best uncle Joe to my two boys, and you have stepped up to the role with the most fantastic, charismatic and beautiful little girl Emily with unbelievable ease… and I for one can’t wait to see you and your family grow and flourish. It’s been fantastic to see so many friends and family here today to share Kat and Joes happiness. However, as you all know, a few special people are missing. It’s at times like today when their presence is missed most, but we cherish the memories we have and hold of them. So, while not physically present with us here today, we know that James, Rhiannon, Myles and sadly Enid who passed away a couple of weeks ago, would all be incredibly happy to see that Kat & Joe have found such tremendous happiness and love with each other. They are all equally very much in our hearts and thoughts today and are all greatly missed. So, would everybody please join me in raising a glass to the loved ones who cannot be here today, to absent friends. I’ll leave you with this quote that a wise man once said, and an even wiser man once had tattooed… “Your past is your history, and your future’s a mystery” … and in case some of you are wondering why they’re laughing… yes it was me... and no I’m not going to show you! But all jokes aside, Joe, Kat… Your pasts are both full of incredible stories and memories that make you the people you are today, and now you start a brand-new chapter in your lives as husband and wife with a bright and beautiful future ahead of you, and I, as I’m sure everybody here today wish you all the health, happiness and love that life has to offer you. So, as I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear, that’s about it from me… Joe, you’re my best mate, always have been and always will be... it’s had been an absolute honour to your best man and I hope one day you’ll return the favour… although slightly apprehensive after that stag do… So, to wrap things up, for one last time, would you all please be upstanding to raise your glass and join me in congratulating the bride and groom,… to the bride and groom… the new Mr and Mrs Jones, Cheers!