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Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems. Why was the math book sad on the weekend? Because it had no problems to solve. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing. Why was the calendar always getting into trouble? Because it had too many dates. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts for it. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case they got a hole in one. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired. Why did the bee go to the dentist? To get a buzz-worthy smile. Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish. Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? It knew how to straw poll. Why did the scarecrow become a doctor? It was outstanding in its field. Why did the scarecrow become a comedian? Because it had a corny sense of humor. Why was the belt arrested? It was holding up a pair of pants. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing stripping. Why don't some couples go to the gym? They just don't work out. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus. Why did the musician get kicked out? Because they couldn't find the right key. Why did the cat sit on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse. Why was the math book always worried? It had too many problems to solve. Why did the tomato turn red? It was blushing after a compliment from a cucumber. Why was the math book happy? It found a solution to its existential problems. Why did the scarecrow get promoted? It was outstanding in its scare-tactics