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A breakup doesn’t just end a relationship. It can destroy your self-worth and leave you feeling lonely and unwanted. It can be a devastating blow to your mental health, especially if you are still in love with your ex. But there are ways to move on and come out of it stronger and healthier. It can sound easy and even patronizing to suggest that you should think about your mental health when you’re at your lowest and deeply vulnerable. It can feel like your whole life’s come to a halt. That all your hopes and dreams have turned to dust. So, the only way out of it is to move on. While it may seem impossible, here are five baby steps you can start taking right now. For the sake of your physical and mental health, the first thing you’ve got to do is to cut off all communication. You don’t have to know where they’re, or who they’re with. Cut off all contact with your ex. You should also know that there’s no way you can be just friends with them anymore. No matter what you may have read or seen, that rarely works out well in real life. It can be a painful and ultimately futile attempt to revive and hold onto a relationship that’s ended. So, get out of their social media networks or chat groups. But being actively disconnected is only part of the solution. You shouldn’t passively try to be close to them either. You shouldn’t check up on their activities through social media or common friends. Remember, any direct or indirect communication with them will trigger memories of the past and even dreams of the future. Understandably, breakups usually fill people with regret and anger. You’re constantly thinking about what else you could’ve done. Or you’re angry at your ex’s behavior, Or even at the circumstances that forced you to act the way you did. The more you think about it, the more you get pulled into that vortex. If there was betrayal involved, things can get quite problematic. Every time you replay an event or conversation, it would hurtle between regret and anger. The feelings become intense when you realize that there’s nothing you can do about any of it. That creates a vicious cycle of regret leading to anger leading to helplessness leading to regret The solution to that’s not to disregard the past. You can’t forget your way out of such a profoundly emotional experience. What you’ve got to do is forgive your past. You need to objectively state what happened, either in a journal or through self-talk. Then you need to forgive your ex’s actions and importantly, your own. This isn’t a sign of weakness but the utmost strength and maturity. By forgiving the individual and their actions, you’re not condoning them. You’re merely stating that you won’t have any negative feelings toward them anymore. There are two facets to a relationship; the one that’s real and the one that’s a fantasy. Unfortunately, after a breakup, people tend to hold on to the fantasy more than the reality. This fantasizing covers both the relationship and the individual involved. So, when you say that you’d love to go back and be with them because it was the most beautiful and fulfilling part of your life, you’re not objectively reflecting on the relationship. You’re describing a fantasy version of it. To make this process impactful and long-lasting, you should journal your thoughts. Writing down all the aspects of your relationship will help you form an authentic picture. It’ll also guarantee that you don’t recreate it any other way tomorrow There might have been a joy in it but there would also have been unmistakable pain. That’ll give you the complete picture of what you just went through. It’ll also help you develop a realistic version of your ex. It’s problematic if you were to suddenly feel hatred for your ex. It’s quite natural to have mixed feelings and hate them one second and then lovingly miss them the next. So, if you find yourself in love with your ex, don’t blame yourself for not being able to move on. Those are the residual emotions from your relationship. What you once felt for them was true and profound and it’s not easy to switch off that side of yours when a breakup happens. In fact, you should tell yourself that it’s not a bad thing. The fact that you still feel love only proves that you’re human, capable of giving and receiving love. But what you should also tell yourself is that it’s a different kind of love. It’s an evolved, mature state of emotions that’s different from the possessive aspect of romantic love. This one’s about nostalgia, and acceptance. Think about it this way. It’s the love you feel toward a place you may have visited in the past. That trip was good. But you don’t have any plans to go back and relive it. You’re ready for new adventures. What’s the strongest indicator that your mental health is above par? You love yourself. More accurately, you understand, accept, forgive, and empathize with yourself. The reason it’s a good reflection of your mental health is that it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially if you’re coming out of a relationship with an ex you’re still in love with. You’re extremely vulnerable at this stage, wondering whether you’re worthy of love and whether you’ll ever find anyone like your ex. The answer is not to look outward but strengthen your inner core. The key is to change the way you talk to yourself. Get rid of any negative talk and remind yourself that you have everything to light up someone’s life and that in turn, that someone will light up your life. You’ll continue to attract love because you’re filled with qualities that draw people toward you.