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Wait til your Father gets home! Mommy Sharon: Jeffie I honestly do not know what is the matter with you this morning! Taylor: (silky-voiced college student) So naughty and cranky today. Jeffie, you are one bratty toddler. What is your problem Little One? Do you have yet another dirty diaper? Mommy Sharon: I just made Jeffie use the potty and put ‘em in a fresh Pull-up, and I’ve already spanked ‘em for throwing temper tantrums twice this morning. I’ve never seen a child get so many spankings! We never had to spank you even once, Taylor. Taylor: (silky-voiced college student) I hope I wasn’t such a royal brat. Mommy Sharon: That is the only word to use: BRAT. And Jeffie, Mommy has come to a difficult decision. Because of your bad behavior, and temper tantrums, which have not improved despite repeated pants-down spankings, I have decided that extreme measures are required. Jeffie, I refuse to raise a brat, and I am going to ask your newly-adoptive Father to take a hand in your discipline. I’m sure Daddy can get to the bottom of your naughtiness. Taylor: (silky-voiced college student) Yeah! Get DAD to spank them! That will teach ‘em a lesson! (to naughty me) Sore fanny time Jeffie! (giggles gently) Mommy Sharon: Daddy is at work right now, but when he comes home, Jeffikins, I am going to ask your new Daddy to bare your little bottom, turn you over his knee, and spank you soundly. Now go to your room! Taylor: (silky-voiced college student) Oooh, that’s a GREAT idea Mom! Dad will teach that snotty-nosed kid a good lesson. I think a bare-bottom spanking with Dad’s great big hand will really help Jeffie behave. Mommy Sharon: And when Ward gets back from the office, I can tell him: Darling, as soon as you get settled I’d like you to go into the nursery and SPANK THAT BABY, they were so bad today! What’s that? Yes our little rejuvenile changeling was NOTHING BUT TROUBLE all day, temper tantrums, pouting, sulking, complaining, dirty diapers, you name it! What that little brat needs is a good, hard spanking on their bare bottom, and I’m sure you can deliver it Doll. Why don’t I make you a nice old fashioned, and then you can give our newly adopted li’l angel a nice old fashioned spanking! After, you know, you get in the mood to slap a little heinie. Taylor (silky-voiced college student): I can’t wait for Daddy to burn that naughty kid’s bare bottom! I bet they’ll be a LOT BETTER BEHAVED after they get their rear end warmed. Mommy Sharon: Your Dad settles in on the couch with a nice drink. Meanwhile you’re upstairs trying to stuff pillows in your pants (gently laughing). As if that would help. You know that Mommy asked Daddy to spank your bare behind, so you can put whatever you want in your training panties. Mommy has arranged for them to be taken down by your Father. And Daddy says, [imitating 1950’s Dad], “So, Jeffie was naughty enough today to deserve a spanking?” Mommy Sharon: Pull down their pants and spank them! They certainly deserve it . Mommy Sharon: Maybe Daddy had a hard day at work. He looks a little provoked as he enjoys the stiff cocktail I thought might get him in the mood to give you a little spanking, Jeffie. I regale him with tales of your naughtiness, one woeful misbehavior after another: “And after I’d finished changing your naughty adopted child’s messy pants, I discovered our budding little artist’s ‘composition’ in crayon on the wall. Then I asked Taylor to babysit them while I went grocery shopping, only to have little Jeffie throw an almighty tantrum for their sitter. I even called my Mom to see if Jeffie’s Grandmother had any suggestions -- and she recommended getting you to paddle their little caboose. And Daddy says, [imitating 1950’s Dad] “Just freshen my drink dear, and I’ll be back after I give Jeffie a little paddywhack.” Mommy Sharon: I thrill to the thought of my energetic hubby finally burning your sweet little fanny. To be honest I’m even stimulated by Ward bounding up the stairs to swat your behind. I get wet between the legs when he says, [imitatining 1950’s Dad] “Mommy says you’ve been naughty. Is that true?” and then, “Pull down your pants and bend over my knee.” Mommy Sharon: Then there’s a few moments of brisk smacking as your Father spanks your bare bottom, and your high girlish screaming as you get paddled. I’m sure it BURNS, you naughty little brat. Maybe next time you’ll behave for Mommie Dearest, if you don’t want a sore little tail. Mama can spank, and Papa can spank, and Teacher can spank, and that’s just for starters little one. Taylor: I just love hearing the sound of Dad’s hand spanking your bare baby buns, the screams as you get your behind spanked, just like you deserve. Grandma (energetic, 60’s, not elderly): Your Papa was quite right to spank you Jeffie. For just one nickel I’d get my ruler and paddle your bottom myself. Beep Phone rings very briefly, is picked up. Phone Sex Dispatcher: Welcome to Telephone Scolding. With our service a naughty recipient such as yourself may be lectured over the phone by experienced disciplinarians. Reprimands are delivered in a serious, cross, “Mommy Knows Best” type voice, the kind mothers might use when upbraiding their misbehaving offspring. Mommy Sharon: Jeffie! How many times has Mommy told you to stop being naughty?! Do you want Mama to turn you over and SPANK you? I’ll show you, you little brat. Now come here. That’s right, you’re getting spanked. You’re getting spanked. Come to Mama. There, now I’ve got you. It’s time for a good, hard, old-fashioned spanking. You knew just what you were doing you rotten kid, and just what Mommy would give you, directly on your bare bottom. Oh yes, this is going to be a pants-downer my naughty little moppet, and we’ll just see how you like the feel of Mother’s soft palm smacking your naked behind. I have a feeling you’re not going to like it very much. Now take down your pants. You heard me Jeffie; pull them down. Undies too little one. That’s right -- bare your bottom for Mommy’s hand -- you’re going to get the spanking of your life! Pull your underpants all the way over your rear! Do it -- uncover your seat completely you spoiled overgrown child. Phone Sex Dispatcher (steamy): We also offer scoldings by local grannies who will take you by your ear, swat the seat of your pants, and drag you to the porcelain sink for a mouthful of Ivory Soap. Or attractive, college age babysitters to lecture and swat you. College-age sitter: (sweetly) Jeffie I have been a babysitter for a LOT of kids, and I don’t let little ones run the show. You’re going to behave and mind Laura, just like you would mind your Mommy. Now, do we understand each other sweetie? How would you like to ride a horsey this afternoon? Mommy has arranged a fun trip to a local farm for you and me. Laura’s going to keep her overgrown child entertained. Maybe I could play a song for you on my guitar, and sing for you. Do you know “Puff the Magic Dragon?” Would you like that? Sure you would Jeffie.You just need to be a good little kidult for me. Now I do not like to spank, ok? But I do think that discipline should be consistent with the family and – I understand Mommy spanks you on your bottom with a wooden spoon when you are naughty? I don’t use a spoon, but Laura will spank with her hand, Jeffie, if there is any bad behavior. I hope that is understood. Little kidult Jeffie misbehaves – and Babysitter Laura wll SPANK! As long as you accept Laura’s rules – especially the part about Laura spanking, on your bottom like Mommy but with her hand and EVERY TIME you are bad, and as long as you behave yourself perfectly like I expect and are never even a little bit naughty for Babysitter, we should get along just fine. But remember Jeffie – Spank spank with Laura’s hand on Jeffie’s bottom EVERY TIME you misbehave. Sound of one spank Phone Sex Dispatcher (steamy): We’re going to set little Jeffie’s bottom ablaze with lovely young teachers who keep you after school for disciplinary paddlings, matronly neighbors who respond to your predations of their flowers by dusting your pants across their skirted laps, and anything else you can imagine! Beep