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To keep a long story short, I was raised Pentecostal and was baptized in complete submergence when I was 13 years old. Although I continued to practice the Christian faith, I didn't fully understand my first baptism. Not to mention I was very unclear and uncertain if I was a true believer after getting baptized because I didn't respond to a traditional alter call. For years, I have had a great internal conflict, as I was so obsessed with the minutia of whether or not I went through the proper steps of receiving salvation, instead of focusing on surrendering to Christ and believing in his sacrifice and resurrection. It wasn't enough to say I believe in Jesus with my lips. I wanted to sense it in my heart and that I had taken the proper steps. I never really strayed away from practicing the Christian faith, as I always read my bible, prayed regularly, did some fasting, shared the gospel with a few people, , help those in need, attended church services frequently, and participating in small groups. There was also a long period where my identity was found in track and field, architecture, and academics while Christ didn't really take priority in my life even if I claimed to be Christian. I may have partook in sinful behavior here and there, but I would always repent and continued to practice the Christian faith by doing what Christians do and saying what Christians say. I even responded to a few alter calls and recited the sinner's prayer several times, whether it be aloud or in my heart. Meanwhile, the heaviness and doubt of whether or not I was a true believer was still present, over a span of 10 - 11 years. Also while I was in college, I participated in a Christian group on campus, which added to my internal conflict as they dissected my faith and history to say I wasn't saved and needed to get baptized again upon going through an intensive discipleship bible study. However, something seemed shaky with their doctrine, so I removed myself from the group. Fast-forwarding to now, I've been attending "Grace Community Church" for about a year. I was actually attending online service at "Elevation Church" for almost year during Covid, prior to attending Grace Community Church. The internal conflict was dormant until I heard Pastor Jarrod's sermon on "False Believers" during the Foundations series. Hearing Pastor Jarrod's message got me thinking about "what would happen if I meet Jesus and he says he doesn't know me?" Jarrod did an alter call at the end of the sermon, but I didn't respond out of fear. Instead, I went home and wrestled with the internal conflict which sprung from dormancy. I continued to listen to the sermon over and over again, while I was at work throughout the week. Eventually, I thought enough was enough. I would rather be safe than sorry and have Christ say, "well done and welcome home" instead of "I don't know you". So I finally surrendered by filling out and submitting the online connection card checking off "believing Jesus for the first time ". When I sent the connection card, which was my act of surrender, the internal conflict was still present but eventually disappeared. Although I sometimes wish I had responded to an alter call in a church setting, I have come to know a person could acquire salvation regardless of the time, place, or circumstance. Also, I know now that I am not saved by my works, but by faith in Christ alone (remembering the thief on the cross who surrendered his life to Jesus). I've been lost for all these years. But it feels great to know that I am found. The biggest change for me is my focus. Instead of focusing on whether or not I went through the right steps to acquire salvation, my focus is on believing in Christ and what he did so that I am saved. In other words, I'm not focusing on how I went about getting saved, but rather putting my focus on who saved me. I continue to read my bible and pray, but now I read the bible and pray to seek God's presence and develop a relationship with him. I'm also getting more involved in the church at Grace. And I registered to get baptized at the end of the month to proclaim my faith and commitment to Christ publicly.