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ii love you i know this bc when i look at you i feel it through my soul at first i wasn't sure if i would ever be able to fill that whole n my heart jeff left b4 and after his death. rob i know we have our dumbass fights about shit but i don't hold on to that shit ever and let it dictate any choices i make away from home .. i know im a good ass bitch not perfect by any means but u can rest easy knowing that this bitch loves you and would love to be the one that you feel the same way for and could rell me all of you be 100 percent you with me bc i love all of u from ur head to your toes ... yes baby ur toes one day imma suck em for ya just so you understand the depths of my love for you . it seems that i am dealing with some shit within my self due tp a few things we have put each other through lately im not pointing fingers and saying you made me feel like this im just telling you bc i hope you if u ever felt like this would come to me and let me know so that way i don't lose you bc of how ur self is feeling about you... i look at you like your the most amazing man in this world I'm so attracted to you even now more then ever .. it is crazy but i feel like i fell in love with u all over again ... so my point in this shit I'm dealing with is I see you as this sexy man of my dreams and how perfect you are my self worth is shit I wish you felt for me the way I do you and i knew it and let it flow through my body like that rush i chase everyday ,,, its not your fault i don't but some shit that has been said on both parts of this were to hurt one another but for some reason i let the last few things u have said effect my self image and confidence. And i keep thinking well he was trying to go see mist and fuck her in Dallas even if we were fighting i would never had done that not unless i wanted him gone for good but i would never want that even i know this when im mad as fuck so it puts doubt in my heart that i love yet another man who really don't lobe me in return the same its fucking with my head baby so bad that I'm afraid of sex not bc it ever been bad but bc one comment like the other day and it would shatter me .. i would want you to tell me if that's what you were feeling i know i been acting distant that's why i tries to say it today that i need u to help me get my confidence back ... I'm aware that this issue is a self based issue and resolution but the person who loves me should assist me if you know what I'm saying I'm not sure what you need to do to make your part be helpful but i know when i feel like your happy i feel like im on top of the world and like hell if i let you down ... its a ripple effect all leading to this type shit right here maybe ask the girls if they have any ideas maybe they can offer some ideas all i know is i look at you and ur this amazing ray of light i put you up there on this pedestal and when you don't believe me and doubt my love i feel like I'm just a complete failure i i love you baby I'm coming to you bc i don't want to be worried about u seeing me naked or me gaining a few pounds this is not all ur fault or on you to fix but i will need your help if you want to continue this path with me ..id love to be the freak i am with you and hve no shame in my sex life with you i hate wanting to cover myself up from you of worried i wont be good enough for you. now knowing this don't think im weak and will let you hurt me with ur actions like i did in the past with jeff ... i cant allow someone to take advantage of my love. please stop the hateful shit i wasnt trying to go there like that with you baby. if you don't want to help me i don't blame you i shouldn't have been so week minded and let things get at me i just want to be Somone's amazing desire more then any other like you are to me