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marshawn im gonna block you and remove you on everything rn. I finally mustered up the courage to leave you, i’m sorry shit has to be like this and I usually would back down and not do anything cause I wanna work things out with you. But I’ve made up my mind and decision to just leave and forget everything we had. would it be selfish for me to blame it on you? maybe. but you’re the one who cheated, you ruined my trust, you made me more insecure, you’re the one who fucked up. I should’ve peeped the red flags but I was too obsessed with you and didn’t wanna lose you. I have a burning hate for you and your ex, for what the both of you did to me. ever since then it hasn’t been the same, I tried to be happy because I got you back and it felt like my life was complete but i remembered how I felt when you broke my heart and treated me, how I couldn’t tell if I was overreacting or if I was right all along which I ended up being right. I don’t think I can forgive you for that, it fills me with anger and hurt just thinking about it. I can’t get it out of my head, i remember everything vividly. feeling betrayed because she so easily got you and I sat there looking dumb, crying, and cutting myself up because I couldn’t make you happy or anything to stay with me. How I felt betrayed because you told me to block her, told me shit about her, how she pretended to be someone else just to be friends with me and then get back with you, how you changed your name to her name, how you matched with her, lying to my fucking face, when I cried on the phone and you called me repulsive I felt like I couldn’t breathe and that I was dying. the pain is still there cause it’s hard to believe that the one I loved so much, trusted with everything in me just had to fucking go behind my back and betray me and then get back with me only to treat me like shit?? to call me a b word, to call me dumb and stupid, to shut down everything i fucking said, to blame me for everything, not letting me fucking explain myself, not blocking your ex and shit- you can’t say I never fucking tried, that I never fucking tried talking to you, never tried being vulnerable or doing shit with you to make you less bored or tired of me. you can’t say our relationship was one sided and then barely fucking try. never wanting to be the bigger person but expecting problems to be resolved? grow the fuck up. stayed up for fucking hours waiting for a text back from you just to make sure you were okay, just to make sure you were fucking safe and you didn’t actually kill yourself. Only for me to never ever get that same fucking energy from you. Only for me to not speak up about what was bothering me cause I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or upset. I did so much and tried so hard to make you happy and to just keep you here with me. you were always so unfair and had double standards in our relationship, always wanting 100% control. idfk maybe you’ll treat the next person better, maybe you’ll be happier without me. I love you, marshawn. I wanted a future with you, I wanted to believe we could’ve been more, I wanted to believe we could’ve been married at some point in our later life but with the way things are now; I don’t think that’ll be possible, it’ll probably just get worse. we’re probably on the same page about everything, you’ve already admitted to blocking me one day if things don’t change so breaking up is definitely a better option for the both of us but mostly for you so you can do whatever you want and I don’t have to be insecure and worry about what you do and who you talk to. I can’t lie, you made me feel special and like the most important girl in the world until you did that, now i’m not even sure anymore. I didn’t lose feelings instantly because I still had something for you, my feelings only faded after thinking to myself is crying every night, beating myself up, letting you shit talk me really worth it? is it even love at this point?I just stopped reacting to our arguments and kept offering to break up cause I was ready to just go to be honest. I still believed we could’ve made it work if you just didn’t do what you did. but now really the only person I can blame is myself, because I should’ve left a while ago. you say you aren’t a good person and I honestly see that now. maybe you’ll learn and do better in your next relationship, not with me. I wanted to see you grow as a person, I tried so hard to defend you to my friends, I tried so hard to make you look good in their eyes but they all hated you for what you did to me. I was shocked when they told me what you did and how you reacted wasn’t normal at all. But I wanted to believe it was cause you were just struggling mentally, I gave you the benefit of the doubt, but you showed me you didn’t wanna change or be better. I should’ve listened to everyone and never texted you begging for you to come back, I was the dumbass all along. bye.