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I spent all my middle school to high school being an introvert who enjoyed staying home because it felt safe and comfortable, because of fear. It’s funny how in the beginning of elementary, I was so talkative , so carefree to the point I would ridiculously dance and sing in the middle of the hall with my teacher smiling and laughing “I got a banana in my butt, I got a banana in my butt!” while having an actual banana in between my butt cheeks to second and third graders who laughed as they walked past the halls to their open and non-enclosed classrooms. However, later on that young and talkative, funny girl transformed to be quiet and insecure to the point she would wear a heavy jacket in class and even in gym and teachers would ask if she’s cold. No, she’s just insecure about her body. As middle school came it got worse. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to people, I was scared of the thought of it. It felt so much better to be alone, not having overthinking thoughts running through my head, no butterflies in my stomach, no heavy breathing and fast heart rates. In December 2020 of high school I found out the name of my fear. “Yeah, you have social anxiety” my behavioral psychologist said as I was sitting on my bed staring at the computer screen. Social anxiety is fear of communication with others. Fear that gets in the way of creating life-long friendships and effectively communicating with others without sounding like a broken record that keeps the music on repeating. Ever want to change but the thought of it seems scary? They say you never know if you don’t try. In eighth grade, I was invited to a friend’s birthday party for the first time and probably my last. With the support of my mom and dad, I thought I was ready to go to a party and be social, but when I tried to socialize by playing dodgeball with the others, I started to feel out of place and awkward. It was something I was not used to and I started to realize that I had no idea how to get myself to be a social butterfly. When everyone started dancing, I thought about joining them, but I felt embarrassed because fear convinced me that I would look stupid dancing. At the end I just sat there like a rock that everyone knows is there but is not noticing. When it was time to eat cake, I tried to talk but I wasn’t confident so my words were like whispers. Looking back, I'm glad I listened to my parents and gave it a try because it made me realize how my fear to interact with others would make me do. Senior year, at the start of my internship I was nervous but excited to put my medical assisting skills I learned from class to use and eager to learn new skills. However, like a blue sunny day suddenly turning gray without warning, rain pours and lightning strikes. Fear engulfed as I watched my surroundings, I was no longer in a classroom filled with medical assistant students in my age group with the same experience and skills. I was in a medical office filled with computers, stacks of papers, thermometers lying on the table and experienced intimidating older medical assistants. Fear covered my excitement, questions and thoughts going crazy in my head, can I do this? Why did I do this? Will this improve my skills in medical assisting? I wanna go home. I should’ve stayed in my medical assisting class. When I could have got up and asked another medical assistant a question, fear convinced me like the evil tiny devil in cartoons to stay quiet and sit. Most days during my internship fear was always there even when I was talking to patients, doing blood pressures and checking temperature. However, I knew doing this would help improve my goal in being out of my comfort zone. So yes, I was scared every time I got out of the office to call a patient in the waiting room; I was scared giving a patient a shot and later on feeling stupid for almost making a deadly mistake on redoing my shot by putting a used needle back to the arm. I was scared over and over but I did my duty as a medical assistant over and over until it wasn’t scary any more. Unfortunately, at the end of my internship I was called to have a talk with my manager. I told my manager that I would like to take the job offer. “I just don’t think you're ready.” Is what my manager said to me as I stood there my heart sank like a damaged ship sinking into the sea but I was eager to hear her out. “You’re just timid, shy, and to be in the medical world you have to get yourself out there. Don’t get me wrong you're doing a great job asking questions and doing your part as a medical assistant but I also noticed you just sit there on the computer looking at the news and weather when you can broaden your experience and ask anyone working who’s still here on what else you can do.” After she said this, I appreciated the criticism. It sucked that I missed such an opportunity to even convince my fear that having a job in medical assisting can really shape and change me as a person. All because of my fear preventing me from even going all out during my internship. Would I want to get rid of fear? No, it’s not something that I can remove out of my life (or in my brain in this case). Although, my fear has protected me from things and situations that I would think would make me uncomfortable. It has also made me realize that I would not change just from hiding and running away. I was able to understand the challenges in my life were meant to help me grow whether I like it or not. Fear helped me realize my mistakes as lessons. As I repeated doing the things that scared me the most, I was able to see that the things fear would tell me would happen most of the time, didn’t actually happen. Just like Abraham Maslow said, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” I’m aware there’s times I listen to my fear and it made me feel comfortable and safe but sometimes there’s great opportunities out there that can benefit my life and I must convince my fear to know even if they laugh, even if I make a fool out of myself, and even if I fail, it’s not the end of the world.