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According to ancient Greek legend, there once lived a handsome young man named Narcissus who was so beautiful that both men and women fell hopelessly in love with him at first sight. One day, as Narcissus sat at the edge of a lake, he happened to glance into the water and saw the reflection of an exquisite young man. Having no idea he was looking at himself, he became so entranced with his own image that he refused to eat, sleep, or move from the spot. He died fixated on the shimmering boy in the limpid water. The white flower we call narcissus was said to have bloomed below where his body lay. It’s a well-known myth—and the source of many misconceptions. People use the term narcissistic to describe someone with self-adoration, like Narcissus. But having known and treated many adults who had a narcissistic partner or parent, I don’t believe that narcissists love themselves at all, although they may appear vain, confident, and extremely arrogant. In reality they are deeply insecure and self-doubting. If they weren’t, why would they have such an insatiable need for approval and adoration? Why would they constantly need to be the center of attention? And why would a narcissistic mother need to block her daughter’s developing confidence and self-worth in