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Dear Fatima Although you may not believe it, I am actually already in love with you, I know this might sound silly, after all we have not even met, but yeah, I'm a silly guy, yeah, I'm that soft, I get attached and fall in love very easily. I just think you are cute, and a wonderful person, and wonderful people make wonderful spouses. I am actually already creating a future for us in my head, a happy home full of love, and affection, laughter and adventure. I really get attached very easily, I am emotionally demanding, and clingy (I'm sure I have told you that already) ina da son jiki, If I love someone, I want to be with that person all the time, talk, chat or do whatever all the time. You see, I am a hopeless romantic, I am in love with love, I believe in fairy tales and love. I believe in the joy of companionship and romance, passion and gentleness. I long to find someone who can return my love as completely as I offer it, but I have this standard of love that people just seem incapable of meeting up, but I am an incurable optimist, so I keep trying. I have always envisioned a wonderful family for myself, a wonderful, loving, and happy home. I just feel like I know all the dos and don'ts of a wonderful marriage, I have studied happy homes and unhappy ones. I always say to myself I will be like su A, and avoid being like su B, but the thing is that no one person alone can make a marriage a successful one, and that's why choosing a spouse is very important. It's honestly where everything starts and ends. You have no idea how much I want to get married, (to me being a husband is the highest calling) I just like the idea of it, the setting, the home, the companionship, the romance, the responsibility and fun, not to talk of the blessings part of it, everything in a marriage is an act of ibadah that you get rewarded for, it's half of our deen, and a pathway to Jannah, I will really hate to die without tying the knot, but finding the right person is the herculean task, you just can’t predict what will happen, or how the other person is gonna turn out, and that’s the scariest part. (Just so you know, I am as scared of being the wrong partner as I am of marrying the wrong partner😁) One thing I came to realize though, is that these things are not in our powers, no matter how careful we are, we just can’t escape the unknown, sometimes it’s just trials, so we can only hope and pray, and try as much as possible to be what we seek. I really do care about you, and would love to get to know you better, but I feel like I'm not getting value for my energy, and I'm afraid it's killing my enthusiasm already. Relationship is a two way street, at least to me, if I keep giving and not getting back, eventually I will get tired, and draw back. I really don't know how to do one sided soyayyah, or be in love with someone and be acting like I don't care, because I don't want to be taken for granted, or something. I love deeply and completely, I hand my whole heart to whomever I love, and do so willingly and joyfully, (even if at times with a certain amount of fear), I am very persistent and committed in my relationships, but once I feel the energy and consistency I offer are not returned, after a while it all fades. You are really a puzzle to me Fatima, I can't with all honesty say you don't like me, you hardly ever call on your own volition, but at least you do answer whenever I call, or call back when you missed my call, (although even that’s no more😏) it’s something I think, but I really hate the fact that we are still yet to meet after all this while, sometimes I try to console myself, saying maybe Fatima is just not ready for a serious commitment with anyone, but then I remember you met with the other person, and I don't know what to think again. I honestly understand your being busy, and having to plan your days in advance, but I equally believe no one is too busy, we make time for people that we think are important to us. I don't want to be in a relationship where I have to nag to see someone, eventually we will both get fed off; me for feeling I’m being neglected (I really have rigima when I'm being neglected🙈) and the other person for being nagged. We hardly talk now adays, deep down, I know I still want you, but surprisingly, I’m indifferent to the turn of events, (now, you are gonna say it has always been infatuation🙄), which is somehow sad, you are slipping right through my fingers, and I’m letting you, despite knowing fully well that you will be good for me, thankfully, I think it’s not too let for us, that’s why I have taken the time to write you this, for you to know that I'm really worth the trouble if you want to give it a try, (you are gonna like me if you really got to know me😁), and if you don't, it's fine, in sha Allah we will eventually both find our happily ever after, I think there are just too many people around, that the problem is no longer that of finding someone, but of choice. I want you to know that, I really love you, I really want you, I want you to grow with, go places with, I want you to keep, I want you in the morning as well as at night, I want you to eat with, to talk with, to laugh with and be happy with. I want to marry you, not at once, of course, but when we meet and really like and understand each other. I want you forever! But then, maybe I'm thinking only of myself, maybe you have someone, or a dream of someone. I just hope you would be nice enough to tell me. I honestly understand that, just because I'm interested in you, doesn't necessarily mean that you will feel the same way and I accept that. (I may be full of fantasies and adventures but I'm nonetheless a realist😁). People have a right to decline our love no matter how pure our intentions are, we are not what they want and that is okay... I hope I didn’t bore you to dead. AG P.S. I stayed up so late last night writing this that when I finally dozed off I dreamt of you, when I woke up this morning, I could remember telling you almost everything I have written here, but I can't remember getting a response, I can't help thinking maybe I have seen into the future, so it's fine if I don’t get one now, I wrote this with the resolve that it's gonna be a make or mar thing. You are bound to think that I use the word “love” so carelessly, maybe I do, but it's only because I really mean it, and I so much believe in it, it may not be enough like you said, but it certainly conquers all.