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Dating in Your 30s?.... You Need These Crucial Tips... Dating is hard at any age, but entering a new decade introduces a whole new set of nuances. If you thought you finally nailed the dating game in your 20s, it might feel frustrating and overwhelming once you hit 30. The truth is dating in your 30s is very different from dating in your 20s. On one hand, the playing field is narrower and you probably carry more baggage than you did the decade prior. You may have had your heart broken and developed some trust issues, for example, or you could be more devoted than ever to a career. You also may have fewer single friends, so there's more pressure to couple up. However, you also have more life experience. If you've recently become single or just turned 30 and are noticing how dating has changed, don't stress. We've got some crucial tips to help you thrive while dating in your 30s, straight from an expert. 1. Know What You Want… In your mid-20s, you might want a partner who drives a nice car and can afford to take you to a fancy restaurant. Although those things are great, once you're in your 30s, you'll probably want more in a partner. "In your 20s, you might be more prone to dating people for the experience who would normally be outside of your default dating preferences. "But in your 30s, all of your previous dating experiences really pay off." 2. Let Go of the Past… Many people who are single in their 30s have dealt with some form of heartbreak—be it ghosting, cheating, a breakup, or even a divorce. It's important to remember that we all have skeletons in our closets and that these experiences have guided us to the people we are today. Your past has shaped who you are, but it doesn't have to be your present or future. Instead, focus on what is happening now and look where you are going next. "All of our previous partners and the previous partners of our are allies in our growth and healing," 3. Be Open and Vulnerable… When you’ve been in a lot of unsuccessful relationships, a natural defense mechanism is to put your guard up. If you don’t let anyone in, then you won’t get hurt, right? As you probably realize, though, if you don’t let anyone in, you won't find "the one." 4. Beware of Negative Thinking Patterns… If you've had a few failed relationships, marriage—or even a long-term partnership—may feel like a pipe dream. But it’s important not to let this negative thinking get the best of you. "If you notice your mind spinning its wheels in the mud of your fear, then you can simply notice it with compassion and choose a new thought," says Gray. When you meet someone new, give them a fair chance, and don't destine yourself to a life alone if it doesn't work out. 5. Don't Rush Things… It’s easy to get caught up in thinking about the things you don’t have yet. You haven’t met "the one," you’re not married, and you don't have kids. Wanting all these things is okay, but grilling every person you date to see if they have what it takes to fulfill your expectations is not. Fear and scarcity don't tend to be healthy internal drivers when it comes to partner selection. 6. Dump Your Divorce Bias… Although the divorce rate in America is falling, you may date people who are divorced when you’re in your 30s. It's not unusual to feel jealous or compare yourself to your new partner's former spouse. "One way to overcome jealousy of a partner's former spouse is to remember that person helped your partner become who they are. 7. Be Open to Wider Age Range… Does age really matter? Not so much. "When it comes to dating in your 30s, there's a bit more acceptable range in terms of age when you're selecting your potential partner," "Ultimately, it all comes down to maturity levels and alignment of life visions." 8. Don't Date Someone You're Not That Into… If you’re not into someone, stop talking to them, stop texting them, and stop hanging out with them. Life is too short. Wouldn’t you much rather get a good night's sleep than be out with someone you don't see a future with? "In many ways, dating becomes more efficient in your 30s because you know what to optimize for. 9. Communicate Openly… Good communication is crucial to any relationship. When you’re dating in your 30s, you and your significant other should be able to talk to each other openly and honestly. Got into your first fight? Talk it out maturely. If you’re not communicating early on in the relationship, that will probably continue as things move forward. 10. Don't Settle, but Don't Seek Perfection… Nobody should settle for a partner who they are only sort of into. The relationship won’t be healthy, nor will it last. Often, people in their 30s, especially women who want to have children, begin to panic at the idea of not settling down soon enough. This causes some to settle for a less-than-ideal partner for a sense of security.