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Standup Every one enjoy Danny tonight? Yeah yeah! You know he reminds me of Steve martins character on only murderers in the building not Steve Martin just that character Josh can be the third guy Martin short, he looks short enough Josh I’m actually here to warm up the Jewish crowd for you. I was so relieved to see there would be someone else making Jewish jokes up here too You know I was really worried about target audience for this show I’m thinking rich men hmmm I don’t always pull well with that group unless they’re aged 50-70 and trying to give me a poorly thought out complement As Carmen mentioned I work as an actor. A few weeks ago I was on set in this really ridiculous punk outfit with this spikey corset. This guy in the main cast comes up to me and is like that outfit is great I’m like oh thank you *please stop* and he’s like don’t spike me though! Wink Finger gun. No I’m very grateful for the work I’ve gotten, it’s been amazing some lead roles in indie films coming up aye and even as a background artist that’s right we’re not extras anymore we’re artists. I had a really long run on pretty liars in the core background. It was a very out of control experience. It was a lot of peoples first time working on a film set and we had also just gotten out of a pandemic where we went from sitting alone in our house with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s to being surrounded by a ton of people every day all day with cameras. It was messy… I’ve learned when you’re in that position you’re important enough to have access to all these amazing people and be part of the action but not important enough for people to be like on their best behavior with you So recently I was on set had a little feature I’m getting my make up done and here comes the Jewish jokes my dad‘s whole side of the family is Sephardic Jewish for those of you who don’t know those are basically Mediterranean and Middle Eastern Jews they are great things about the Sephardic one none of that gefilte fish crap we have real food and dammit it’s good another thing I don’t get sunburn but there are some bad things and one is excess hair this is a problem because I work in film and every nuance of the way you work so I was working on a site the other day and sounded like a virus chair Malcolm tweezers what is the idea behind these brows? Oh I am part Greek I’m so sorry they grow within a matter of days oh from where Sarah on safari Jewish she says oh I’m German. Now the longest pause and she goes I’m also part Polish! Im like oh ok! Am I supposed to be like oh there are Jews there? I will say my eyebrows came out great… But then the nazis always were particular about aesthetics. Yeah the entertain industry is crazy I mean did you see the Oscar’s this year? She meant well have you ever noticed people who mean well are the fucking worst For example people who are trying to save you from going to hell by taking away your rights i’m sorry rich white guy is not ever joke can be for you *or this is why I was worried about the audience awwwwww No one wants to be the subject of an aww. It’s like I’m my top 5 standard responses but do I want it said to me? No. It’s pity it feels like being a bunny rabbit who forgot how to hop. Completely Demoralizing. This one time I went to a fruit stand while I was going to school in the city So I went to target today to get an outfit for this, yeah I like to dress up where something a little distracting in case I make a bad joke ya know maybe some of your attentions where elsewhere Anyway! First thing I get to target I walk in the door and an employee just rips ass like wind was fully broken looks at me and keeps walking. He never even stopped and I’m like ok so I know what kind of trip this is gonna be. There’s two types of target trips one where heavens gates open you find everything you didn’t need you spend all your money and one where babies are crying they’re sold out of peanut butter and employees are cropdusting. But hey if you’re a female either way you spend everything in your wallet anyway cause it’s targé! It’s one of those days so then I’m walking down the aisle and I literally get knocked over by I cannot make this up, the security guy riding a mini forklift around for fun. I swear everyone has lost it since covid you ask an employee anything and youre either getting information you absolutely didn’t ask for or the most infuriating interaction of your day. So I need some help finding someone and I go and ask an employee, there’s only men and ect. You guys heard of those chicken cutlet bras? you know who like stick them on they look and feel like a chicken cutlets least sexy thing in the world, fantastic undergarment. Well I needed some chicken cutlets and I ask and the guy goes right over here oh these ones are my favorite I said hi do you have any dresses with fruit on it? Trying to go for a summery vibe he goes oh yeah this is my absolute favorite we have this one with oranges! I’m like fuck it just give it to me who am I to say no thank you so much enjoy the rest of the show