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I am listening to you Alexis. You always had the understaning that It takes time to break the subconsciousness in which you have done a great job at keeping up with. The small amount of sanity left after synchronizing with the stomping of your feet and the clapping of your hands reaches octaves vibrating throughout your nerves and cells. Deleting memories, people, and identity to leave your past behind. Detonating your timebomb before a terrorist does. The secrets and the lies we tell to keep our souls alive and pure are the plot and root of suffering for all of existence. Only God knows the truth. And it is always invisible. No one has the all-seeing eye. It cannot be attached to the flesh because the flesh was created. The eye just is. There’s a beauty in being lost and it’s hard to see when the loneliness creeps in at night. Honoring the full moon with eyes that reminded me of the sun's perspective switched to staring too long and it hurt. I don’t live in a fairy tale, indie movie, or documentary. I need to tell myself that I did nothing wrong. What happened, had to happen, and what has yet to happen, needs to happen. I must trust the truth of fate and move on. Let the people, things, and feelings that are no longer serving me go. Averting my focus on grieving to love is what is going to keep not just my body alive but my soul. Trying to conjure and implement the love that I never had into myself will be the gift that heals me emotionally and physically from all of the harm done to me by those who know all that they do. I know what I have to do. It sucks that I have to do it on my own but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am the ending and the beginning. That is me. I am the alchemist. Beautiful Domestic Switch Mechanism. Meaningful Sex Dominating Beauty. New beginnings are bookmarked pages that just need to be flipped over to see the looming past that creeps at the most unexpected of times. Don’t resume a path that has not been cleared. Finish the book before starting a new one. The discovery of this talent is something humans are very late in realizing. It’s one of their most useful tools to destroy cultured behavior. The sad part is no one thinks what they truly think. It is hidden in a very tiny part of the psyche, it’s as invisible as invisibility. No one can catch it for it is not there.