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The welcoming smell of our hot coffee filled Jesse’s car, after we’d taken our first pit stop at a coffee shop. I switched vehicles to see how Jesse was doing. Turns out, not good. Johnny Cash’s somber voice singing “Man in Black” permeated the space between us, which felt as vast as the Grand Canyon. A stark contrast to the peaceful mood in Ian’s RV, at least until I looked up our own man in black, Akida Bakari. I let the classic tune play as I observed the man I’d come to know so well, and yet remained locked out of the furthest reaches of his past. How had I gotten so attached to someone who wouldn’t let me in? It baffled me, and yet I felt powerless to retreat. He was silent. His knuckles gripped the smooth steering wheel as if he were trying to steer the whole course of his life by driving this car. His eyes remained fixed on the road, never once darting my way. “Jesse,” I spoke quietly, turning the volume down as soon as the song ended. “Hello?” His face twitched in annoyance. “Why are you so mad that I wanted to come? You don’t want me here?” He looked off, into the fields of grazing cattle. “It’s not that,” he started. “I just didn’t like you inviting yourself along without my permission. It’s not your journey. It’s mine.” “I understand that, but I thought we were…” I paused, unsure if I should say it. “A couple. I thought you might like my support. I know this is really hard for you. I’m just trying to be there for you, that’s all.” He shot me a look and a quick half smile that instantly vanished. A good few miles passed under our tires before he said anything. “Look, I appreciate that. I really do. But, this is something nobody can help me with. I need a lot of time to think right now and I use the road to do that. Just ask me next time, will ya?” “Sure,” I said, knowing there was more to it than that. “You know that guy in Pearl’s note? Akida Bakari?” I said. “I’ve got some dirt on him.” His eyebrow raised. “He’s being (or was) investigated for trafficking child slaves to work in the mines. He’s bad news. There’s tons of articles on it online. I wonder if they ever caught him? The stuff I read was around 2012, so he might be in jail by now.” “Doubt it.” He spoke through gritted teeth, staring straight ahead, now at the back of Ian’s RV which shot ahead of us long ago. “Those guys just pay off the police and go free. It’s a lawless land. If I ever lay eyes on him, I’m gonna kill him. Point blank. I don’t care what happens to me. He’s a dead man, if he’s not already.” What could I say? I wasn’t going to dissuade him from seeking justice in a land where it’s sorely lacking. However, the thought of losing Jesse caused my heart to do uncomfortable things, like stop beating. I gasped and pressed my palm to my chest, hunched over in the car seat. “You ok?” He asked. “Just palpitations,” I choked out, feeling the world grow dim for a second. With a final ‘thud’ the muscle righted itself again, and the beat stabilized. As much as I wanted to accompany him to Africa, if even thinking of something bad happening had me this shaken up now, imagine how I’d react if it really happened? Terror stung my cheeks like hot pin pricks.