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Forgotten Truth Chapter one I wiggle my toes in the soft pile of the landing carpet and pull my arms above my head, stretching out like a cat disturbed from its slumber, my spine clicks as my body shakes itself awake. The moon is full and shining milky light onto the landing creating a runway to the bathroom door. I stop and stare out of the landing window, watching the twisted arms of the old oak tree ripple and grasp at the sky longing for an escape from its roots, something I could sympathise with. Sleep is still fiddling with my eyelids, and I start to sway, but my bladder shouts at my brain causing my body to shift towards the bathroom. The door is partially closed, which was unusual as it is always left open with three girls in the house; there was always someone making their way across the moonlight steppingstones to relieve themselves. My fingers brush lightly against the door, not wanting to knock and wake the house up; the door slowly opens as if invisible hands were pulling from the other side. There is a strange vibration in the air, like a whisper telling me to turn around, close my eyes and wait until daylight arrives, but something within me pushes me over the threshold as white noise fills my ears, and any invisible whispers were muted. A groan slips from my throat, a noise that sounded so much louder in the still of the night. My eyes try to adjust to the object sitting in the bathtub, and without thinking, my arms reached out to pull the light switch; the world suddenly illuminated, the moon's milky light vanquished. Bile begins to rise in my throat, compressing words from forming. My tongue suddenly stuck to the roof of my mouth as if all of my saliva has left with the moon. I scrunch my eyes closed hoping then when I open them again everything would be normal and that this is just the reminiscence of a bad dream. I count to three in my head and with a deep breath, slowly will my eyes to open. My heart begins hammering as my eyes scan the room trying to understand what my world has become. There are red smears everywhere, I think I start spinning in circles as I become dizzy and grip the edge of the sink getting the red stuff on my own hands. Panic starts to take hold as I violently rub my hands against my pyjama bottoms. The room starts to dip as I focus on my baby sister sitting in the empty bathtub, she is staring at me like a monster that had just appeared from under her bed. ‘Nelly, what happened to mummy and daddy’ my little sister Lydia whispers. She is sitting with her knees under her chin and is so still it is hard to make out if she is even breathing. My eyes begin to dart from the bath to the door, my body rocking from one direction to another, not knowing where I should go. I flop to the side of the bath and reach for my little sister, only now realising that her barbie pyjamas have red splashed all over them. Suddenly my brain crashes back into my skull. Blood! Oh my god, why is there blood everywhere? Panic sets in as I grab Lydia looking for an injury. ‘Lydia, are you hurt’ I shout louder than intended trying to grasp an understanding of what is happening. ‘No, but I think mummy is,’ Lydia replies without moving her eyes. She was transfixed on the shampoo bottle next to the taps and her mouth kept opening and closing like a fish. ‘What happened, Lydia. Tell me what happened’ my frustration was starting to boil over, and tears started to spill from my eyes. I tenderly brush my hand over my little sister’s blood-smeared face trying to find a reason for the blood. She must have fallen; I try to reassure myself. There has to be some reasonable explanation for the blood. I shake her gently trying to get her to return to this world but wherever her mind had gone was probably better than where she was at this moment. ‘Stay here.’ I whisper whilst running my hands through her hair, trying to reassure her that everything is okay, but she doesn’t reply; instead, she starts to rock back and forth. I stumble to my feet, stars start to dance around the room, I squeeze my eyes closed and slap my palms over them to try and block out the harsh light that is piercing my brain. ‘I need a minute. Just give me a minute’, I say out loud to no one in particular. Hoping I will wake up from this bad dream, but as I slowly remove my hands and open my eyes, everything is still the same. My body jolts forward, moving on its own without me knowing what it will do next. I turn and look at Lydia just to reassure myself that she isn’t injured, and a sob falls from my mouth; the image of her little body rocking back and forth with no light in her eyes is horrific to see and I know that image will haunt me. I start to descend the stairs, the smell of iron and sick invades me and my mouth starts to fill with a sour liquid fills my mouth as my body crumbles on the stairs. After what feels like hours, I reach, and steady myself on the bannisters as my foot slips from underneath me in something thick and slippy but I manage to steady myself, I know at that moment there is blood all over the floor. My body starts to jolt and I have the urge to run, every nerve is on high alert and I can’t catch my breath no air can get into my lungs I bend over and try to focus on the breathing techniques I was taught for panic attacks. I make my way to the door of the living room, and I can make out the Christmas tree standing tall in front of the window; in that moment, I forget the hell that I am living and stare up at the outline of the huge star on top and say a silent prayer to who, I have no idea. Suddenly light fills the room and the world is transported into vivid colour, I gulp a mouthful of air and hold it as I turn uncertain of who is stood in the doorway, I expel the stale air as relief floods every pore, my older sister Charlotte is standing in the door. Her eyes focus on the front of my t-shirt, and it's then I realise that I have blood all over my hands. I hold them up inches from my face trying to work out why this red stuff is attached to my skin. They drop to my sides, and I start rubbing with all my might to get my hands to resemble my own again. Lydia appears from behind Charlotte's legs with eyes so wide that she looks like a snowman with eyes of coal. ‘What’s happened’ I mumble with a voice that does not sound like my own. Tears are streaming down Charlotte's face as she spits at me. ‘What the fuck have you done Nell’.