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I hung up, opened the back door, and yelled, "Ollie ollie oxen- free," whatever that means. Like two Cruise missiles, they flew straight to the door, then positioned themselves at my feet and competed for affection. Tails wagging, they followed me in. "How are my two favorite boys in all the world?" I asked as I knelt to let them nuzzle me. "Daddy made two thousand bucks today, so he bought you fellas some treats." I handed a foot-long compressed rawhide bone to Buck and a smaller version to Wheat. Buck trotted across the room with his and staked a claim on the couch. Wheat took cover beneath the kitchen table, where it would be difficult for Buck to get at him. I undressed and clicked on CNN. Wearing plaid boxers and a white T-shirt, I began my stretching routine as an auburn-haired beauty summarized the day's events. A terrorist bomb in the Middle East, Republicans and Democrats blaming each other for the nation's ills, and an assortment of murders, kidnappings, floods, and droughts. Who wouldn't have a little depression? I turned off the TV, leaned back in my recliner, and picked up Hei- degger's Being and Time. When I left the practice of law two years ago, I purchased a home in the mountain town of Nederland and began a new life. As part of that I promised myself I'd spend time each day study- ing philosophy or eastern religions. Those subjects had captivated me in college, and my hope was that immersing myself in them once more might give me some insight into how to deal with my existential pain. So far it hasn't, but at least I'm well read. The problem is that I am one of those unlucky souls con- demned to forever ponder life's unanswerable questions. I don't know whether this is the cause of my depression or the result of it. Either way, traditional religion never worked for me. I've always had a bit of an authority problem, so I have trouble with the con- cept of God. I go through life with the nagging suspicion that it's